so i was thinking

so im sitting in my room just chillin, being all nostalgic and what not, i was thinking about the mission trip to colorado, and out of the blue i remember sitting at the park where we were just hangin out eating ice cream and what not, and van reaches over my shoulder to grad some thing and i kissed her arm, it was friggin hilarious, because im pretty sure that was the srangest reflex ive ever had for anything ever, then i thought of the after math of that, i told sarah and we argued about it alittle bit and then she starts walking away and i was like "VAN!" and then she was like "excuess me?" and i was pretty much screwed but we figgured it out and it was all fine and dandy.

but i just thought it was so strange that i was thinking about that, it made me smile im still smiling about it. but i just find it amazing how the memories that i htink are gonna be scaring really arent, and they make good memories to laugh at which is always good, because some times life gets just so heavy and you forget what it feels like to genuinly feel happy and know what joy is. i just love those thoguhts! i think im having one of those days where im just thinking about one person, today is van, i havent talked to her in like 2 months.

but now that i think about it, i feel like im missing out on so much at home, austin home, dallas is just a pit stop in life at least thats the way i feel it is, i have yet to find god purpose i think im coming close, and my moms been nagging me to stop trying to get back to austin, and im just like really? i go once a month and i ask just so you cant freak out on me and say i didnt ask. but i really miss everyone, and im really scared that the college kids are gonna be so different, and im gonna be so different when i go home, its just nerve racking adn on top of it all i feel like ive been pretty big jerk to sarah recently, i don know why but i just feel like i have, she says i havent but i dont know, i have to many girl friends, i make my life difficult its terrible.

yeah, also, grades are sucking also, i failed algebra 2 so for the next couple of weeks im not gonna have a life, its gonna suck i was gonna go to the maylene show with lyndsay next friday, but i cant anymore, so im gonna have alot of time to just dwell on what ever i feel like, and do home work, its gonna be strange, on the bright side, im gonna have even more time than ussual to play guitar and write, which will be good, hopefully ill get to jam with lyndsay at least, that would be fun, and ineed new tubes for my amp, i think i blew it up unfortunatly, but it happens.

but yeah, much love
~chris lee~